7 Ways to be Insufferable on Facebook

I didn't write the article below, but wish I had. I'm sure I am guilty of doing one or more of these things in the past, but I really try to be uplifting, funny and encouraging most of the time. I think we need to be more responsible with the things we put out there for the world to see. Each time I start to push "post" for a status, I try to do these 3 things:

1) How is this going to affect other people?
2) Is it true/a hoax/correct information? (Google it)
3) Does it compromise my beliefs as a child of God?

I even use this criteria when commenting on or sharing other people's statuses. There's so much crap (yes I said "crap" - this is my blog, not my FB status, lol) put out there that tears down, embarrasses and criticises our human race. Why not add a little joy to the world with encouraging and positive statements?

7 Ways to be Insufferable on Facebook
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/annoying-facebook-behavior_b_4081038.html

Ansley Brooke...my first born beauty!

ANSLEY BROOKE STEPHENSON

Five years into marriage with my high school sweetheart, John and I decided we were ready to start a family. John was working at Atlanta Gas Light as an engineer and I had just started working in a family business with John’s sister, Kelly, and his father, Stanley. Stanley asked us to wait at least a year for the business to get up and running before getting pregnant, just so I could give it 100% of my time. We thought, what the heck, we’ll start trying now anyway – it’ll probably take a while to actually get pregnant. WRONG. First time’s a charm! John was so disappointed…haha. This was back in the day when doctors were now able to tell you the sex of your baby, but we decided that we wanted to be surprised.

My beautiful baby girl was born on July 19, 1990 at Georgia Baptist Hospital in downtown Atlanta. I had an easy pregnancy, only threw up twice the whole time (I HATE to throw up – something Ansley inherited from me) and only 8 hours of labor (with drugs of course). My Dad called and asked what he could bring me on his way to the hospital, so I asked for what any long-time Atlantan (and daughter of a Georgia Tech graduate) would want: lunch from the Varsity. After skipping two meals to birth my baby girl, that chili dawg, onion rings and a PC was AMAZING. For you non-locals, PC stands for “pasteurized chocolate” milk over ice. Yum. I ate all this while gazing out my hospital room window looking at the city skyline. Ironic that Ansley now lives just a couple blocks from that hospital and looks out at that skyline everyday from her apartment. But back to my little miracle…

Ansley was the first grandchild on both sides of her family so of course she was the center of everyone’s world! After six weeks of trying to nurse her, while listening to her scream bloody murder the whole time, I finally stuck a bottle of formula in her mouth and she slept through the night from then on. Poor thing was just hungry I guess! She was also a little jaundiced when we brought her home from the hospital, so she had to sleep in one of those lightbox/suitcases for a few days to rid her of the yellow tint of her skin.

My brother-in-law called her his little “subdivision”, mainly because he thought “Ansley Brooke” sounded like it should be the name of a North Atlanta neighborhood. Well, I did get the name Ansley from a beautiful little community called Ansley Park near my place of employment at the time, so he wasn’t far off. And interestingly enough, we actually did come across a neighborhood a few years later named after my daughter:

Call me a bad mother if you want, but after eight weeks at home with a newborn, I was ready to head back to work at the print shop with my sister-in-law. You know that saying “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t NOBODY happy”?? Trust me, I was a much better person/wife/mother working outside of the home. I had wonderful caregivers helping take care of Ansley and I am pretty sure she wasn’t scarred by the experience of me being a working mom. She might disagree…

Once Ansley started sleeping through the night (THANK YOU GOD), she was a really easy baby. And that was a blessing because about this time, John decided to go back to school for his masters degree. He was working full time plus going to school at night (commuting downtown to Georgia State – this was before the invention of online classes!). I’m going to fast forward a couple of years here, since those infant years were not my favorite time. Those who know me will attest to that fact. To this day, I don’t even like to hold small babies. Heck, I don’t even like to hold large babies or toddlers! (I don’t have that “warm fuzzy” gene some moms have. Sorry. Ansley and Alyssa are praying that changes when they start giving me grandbabies. Surely it will be different then, right? Right?)

She was a beautiful baby. No, really. I know all parents say that, but she was. Forget the fact that she had no hair until she was three years old….a cute little bow stuck to her bald head, and she hardly ever got mistaken for a boy after that. Of course, she could never be mistaken for a boy NOW. Good gosh…

Ansley was only 6 weeks old when she first went to the beach. Remember that first time she slept through the night? Yep – at the beach. She LOVES the beach. Every year from the time she was born, we have vacationed at our place there. That’s when she is at her happiest. It’s the one ‘constant’ in her life and I can’t see a year passing when she won’t go there for a visit. This was about a year later:

She ended up at the University of Georgia, but we raised her as an Auburn Tiger. Don’t know what happened, but I guess we should be thankful she stayed in state and took advantage of the Hope Scholarship she earned. But I still think orange is her color, don’t you? And look at those Shirley Temple curls!

Ansley got her smarts from her Daddy, that’s for sure. All through elementary, middle and high school she was always in the gifted classes. She was reading real books at 5 ½ years old, writing in complete sentences soon after that and making straight A’s easily and without studying. She’s always wanted to be a teacher, forcing her sister to “play school” when probably all Alyssa wanted to do was “play restaurant”. I know without a doubt that Ansley’s desire to become a teacher was put in place by one of her gifted teachers at Suwanee Elementary, Miss Lucy Dalton.

This woman put so much of herself into Ansley’s love of learning, keeping her challenged and hungry for knowledge. It was Miss Dalton’s example that made Ansley want to be just like her, and 13 years later Ansley is working on her own certification to be a gifted teacher! So kudos to Miss Dalton because I know one day Ansley’s students will appreciate and look up to her the same way.

You know those studies that talk about birth order and how each child in a family tends to have certain characteristics? Well, as a child, Ansley sure has those “first born” traits nailed down:

1)    Confident: All that attention over everything she did made her more likely to believe in herself.

2)    Organized: She always knew where to find things, because she had a system for everything. She was always on time and didn’t forget much.

3)    Cautious: When presented with a new situation, Ansley tended to be an introvert – sitting back, watching and listening, until she felt more comfortable. Once she became acclimated to her new environment, the cautiousness would subside.

4)    Perfectionist: Just like her Dad, Ansley hated to make a mistake. She didn’t deal well with criticism and was devastated whenever she disappointed anyone. But all these traits are what motivated her to achieve success, so there is a bright side to the perfectionist in her.

5)    Persistent: This came in handy when Ansley wanted to accomplish something, but it also made her a little bit argumentative because first borns tend to always want their way and will debate a point until they get the last word.

Right after Ansley was born, I remember cross-stitching Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” So true. From the time she was born, she has known the Lord and that He loves her. Her life has been molded around the church and her place in it. Her first paying job as a teenager was interning at a local church. In college she was a part of Sigma Alpha Omega, a Christian sorority at UGA, serving as secretary at one time. To this day, she puts her faith in the Lord, leaning on Him in times of trouble, stress and disappointments. Heck, she even has “Jesus” tattooed on her arm (upside down it spells “Christ”!).

 

Lest you think Ansley’s life has been all unicorns and rainbows, let me assure you that it has not. She had to navigate life with ME. Those high school years were tough for us. She was a good kid, I just had a hard time with giving her “wings” to grow up and become an adult. Once we learned each others love language (and I learned how to keep my mouth shut!), we got along much better. Ansley loves DEEPLY, so she has had a few relationships (romantic or otherwise), that scarred her heart a bit when that love was tested. But those who do manage to find a way into her heart will never have to worry – she is a LOYAL friend and will do anything for you. Here’s a group shot of the gang at her 16^th birthday party, many of whom she is still very close to.

She decided while in college that she wanted to work in the Gwinnett County School system when she graduated. That’s where she went to school, and it is one of the top ranked school districts in the state of Georgia. Right. EVERYONE wants to work there. But she set that goal, and even though we tried to warn her not to get her hopes up, three weeks before school started, she was offered a job teaching 10^th grade Language Arts at Mill Creek High School in Braselton, GA. The girl doesn’t give up.

 

She LOVES sweet tea, Georgia football, reading and traveling. Oh and don't forget really HIGH heels - she even teaches in them.

She has always called Justin Timberlake her “husband”. Can you say OBSESSED?? Waiting outside the arena at her first ever concert back in high school, she won a JT trivia contest with the local radio station and scored “early entry” passes which put her front and center at his concert.

When his tour schedule this year failed to include Atlanta, she bought tickets for his concert in NYC and went there to see him! Give her a break…it was on her birthday in July. What else was she suppose to do?? Of course Atlanta was later added to the schedule for December, so she bought tickets for that one too. Oh! And Justin even called Ansley one time on her phone (long story for another blog one day), but she didn’t hear it ring and missed having that heart attack, thank goodness.

I wanted to give these people some of the responsibility for the woman Ansley has become. Whether it's your sister, your BFF, a high school friend, a boyfriend, a sorority sister, a roommate, a college friend, or a co-worker, each one is a big part of the person we end up being as an adult. I appreciate every one of them for standing by her side in all seasons of her life.

  

 

  

Ansley’s part time job while in college involved a lot of promotional modeling and being a brand ambassador for different companies: she was a Bud Light girl, a foot model, an extra in a movie (The Neighborhood Watch with Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn), a Spartan girl at the Spartan Races, and a runway model, just to name a few. How much fun is THAT?? Living the dream…

  

So let’s fast forward a little more to present day. Ansley has graduated from UGA with a double major in English and English Education. She now has an apartment in downtown Atlanta with a great view of the skyline. She’s enjoying the single life, summers off from teaching, and is working on her master’s degree.

Well, as you can see, I could not be more proud of this girl! She has turned into a beautiful, loving, generous and hard-working young lady. I know she is going to make a difference in this world being a school teacher. True fact in case you didn’t know: No one becomes a school teacher solely for the money…it’s for the joy of making a difference in the lives of students, and I know Ansley is doing that. I wish she was closer to us, but I know her heart is in Atlanta – it was for me too at one time. I hope she knows how much I love her.

“Back” in the Saddle Again…

Well…not quite. It’s been 7 weeks since my back surgery and you would think that, by now, I should have accepted the fact that my (physical) life was never gonna be the same again. Part of me knew that it would be 6 or more months before I would know if it surgery “worked” and my back would feel better than it did before, but part of me thought I was Wonder Woman and would heal up immediately and be good as new in a month. Here’s where my Pollyanna outlook on life just took a beating. Let me vent and complain a bit…

I still hurt. I can’t find a comfortable position to be in for more than 10 minutes. Any kind of clothes with a waistband irritates my scar. My clothes are hanging on me and a belt is out of the question. It takes me twice as long to do anything I use to do easily. I can’t walk to the end of my street without dreading the walk back. My Mom had to shave my legs for me. John has to help me put on shoes and socks. I can’t cook a meal for my husband. Washing, drying and folding one load of clothes takes 2 days. I can’t bend over to pet my dog. I couldn’t go on the Youth Family Retreat to Great Wolf Lodge last week because I can’t ride in the car for more than 30 minutes and water parks are not my friend right now. My memory is spotty because of the overdose of anesthesia I got in the hospital and the pain killers I was taking. I have no appetite and nothing tastes good. I burst into tears for no reason at all. I can no longer lie and say I’m “fine” when someone asks how I’m doing.

Those that knew me BEFORE the surgery would probably say that I was a happy person. Always positive and finding the good in every situation. A multi-tasker and an organizational freak. A good housekeeper – a place for everything and everything in its place. A person who is put together, hair done, makeup on, outfit coordinated. WELL, YOU WOULDN’T RECOGNIZE ME NOW.

OK. Enough of that. I decided when I got up this morning that it was time to stop complaining and start being thankful. Attitude is everything, turn your frown upside down, count your blessings and all that. So…

I am THANKFUL for:

- Doctors, nurses and medical technology that make having 6 stainless steel screws in your back totally normal.

- Excellent insurance that made a $100,000 operation somewhat affordable.

- Prescription drugs and anesthesia created specifically to help my situation.

- A job that allowed me a month off while still getting paid.

- A job that was flexible enough to allow me to come back to work when I could and leave each day when I needed to.

- Being able to walk again within a couple days of the surgery.

- A mother that would drop everything and come stay with me for a week (and then came back 2 weeks later to stay again).

- A 14 pound weight loss that at first made me feel gaunt, but is beginning to feel good ;)

- My Grace Girls bible study ladies who brought us meals (Lynn T., Denise H., Amy G., Michelle H., Rhonda O.).

- My pastors (and co-workers) who were there before and after the surgery.

- My friends and family who helped out in other much needed ways (Lynne C., Claire A., Cindy D., Kelly B., Robyn P., Alice S., Ansley S., Alyssa S.)

- My devotional each morning (Jesus Calling) which gave me the strength to stay in the fight.

- A church family and other friends who prayed (and are still praying) for me.

So there. You may have noticed that I left someone very important off that THANKFUL list…I didn’t forget. I just wanted to save the best for last.

John David Stephenson, I don’t know what I would have done the past 7 weeks without you. You have waited on me hand and foot. Cooked my meals and washed the dishes, washed my clothes, changed my sheets, put on my shoes, changed my bandages, brought me medicine, held my hand while I got stitches removed, drove me to doctor’s appointments, paid my bills, bought me flowers, prayed for me and with me, held me while I cried, supported me when I could hardly walk and fed me when I couldn’t do it myself. And never complained or got impatient with me a single time. I am so THANKFUL I met you 33 years ago and married you almost 28 years ago. You have worked hard to give me everything I need, excelled at being a wonderful father to our girls, and stayed faithful and true to me just like you promised on June 15, 1985: “…in sickness and in health…” THANK YOU sweetheart – I am so blessed.

2012: A Year in Review

Well, for the first time in 27 years, I won’t be sending out a Christmas card with my letter this season. My family has finally begun to reach far and wide, ending up in different places with different agendas now. But through the magic of social media, I can still give you a quick summary and a few pictures of our year. This pic was taken Christmas Day while I was recovering from back surgery, so that's why I look a little peak-ed! LOL

Ansley has graduated from the University of Georgia with a double major in English and English Education, while securing a great job teaching 10^th and 11^th graders in Gwinnett County, GA at Mill Creek High School. 

 

Of course she secured an apartment in downtown Atlanta FIRST, so now she is enduring a nice long commute back and forth to work each day. At least it’s against traffic! She loves her new life, being out on her own, but like most of us adults, doesn’t care for all the bills and responsibilities that come along with that. All part of growing up I guess.


Ansley has also been dating Sam Janjua for the past few months and they are enjoying their time together in Atlanta and Athens. 

Ansley has adopted a sweet little kitten to keep her company. “Romeo” helped to heal her broken heart when our family cat, Skittles, died of old age back in June.

Alyssa is halfway through with her final year of getting her baking and pastry degree from Johnson & Wales University in Charlotte, NC.  After her full time internship at Amelie’s French Bakery in Charlotte, plus one more term of academic classes, she plans to transfer to the University of South Carolina and then work on a bachelors in Restaurant Management so that one day she can open her own bakery. She is also looking forward to being out on her own, already looking for an apartment for her time at USC. YES – USC is only about 20 minutes from here, but NO – she doesn’t want to commute from home. For some reason we are fine with this. :)

Alyssa also has a wonderful young man in her life, Hayden Antal, who also attends USC majoring in graphic communications. I have to say it's nice having another photographer around so that I don't have to be responsible for taking all the pictures of every event!

Alyssa did her first full-fledged wedding cake for my cousin Caitlin this summer  which led to several other wedding orders for the season.

 

She was also in a cake decoration competition hosted by the NC branch of ICF (the International Culinary Federation) and won the bronze medal for her 3-tiered wedding cake. 

John is still with Starbucks, now building a new plant located in Augusta, GA that will produce the Starbucks VIA coffee. Don’t know whether he will end up there when the plant is complete or not, but for now, it’s only an hour and 15 minute commute. He hasn’t done as much major traveling this year (just one trip to Malaysia) as he did last year, so we are enjoying our empty nest and working on some projects around the house. John and I also joined a couples small group at church for a 6 week bible study which we thoroughly enjoyed and hope to do another soon. Our Auburn Tigers had a REALLY bad year, but we are looking forward to seeing what our new coach, Gus Malzahn, will be able to accomplish next year.

As for myself, I am still loving my job at the church, serving with our youth staff and planning events for over 200 middle and high school students. What a blessing to work with these people and to make a difference in the lives of Lexington students.

My dear Memama passed away in August after almost 94 years on this earth. It was wonderful to re-united with most of my Mother’s family for a memorial service in my grandmother’s honor. 

We spent Thanksgiving with John's family in Fayetteville, GA where we took this family photo in his sister's front yard. Everyone is wearing their favorite SEC team colors, celebrating college football plus all we have to be thankful for. John's Mom used this pic for her Christmas card. 

I took a few small trips throughout the year: three times to the beach, on a business trip with John to Jacksonville, FL, to a church conference in Dallas, and a visit to my Dad’s in Orlando where he and his wife have now retired near my brother, Gary, and his family. But my favorite trip of the year was to NYC with my friend Zannett! Girlfriends trip to the big city – ain’t nothing like it! 

I guess the biggest milestone for me this year was having some major back surgery in December. The osteoarthritis in my lower back had gotten worse over the past two years, leading to degenerative disc disease (the last two discs in my spine had just about disappeared, so there was no “padding” left). After a 5 hour surgery (spinal fusion) and 5 days in the hospital, I now have 6 stainless steel screws in my back. Thank the good Lord for my Mom and my husband who both waited on me for the past 3 weeks of recovery. I hope to return to work after the new year…so far, so good. I am also very appreciative of my church family, my ladies bible study group and all my family and friends who prayed, nursed me (Claire, Robyn, Kelly, Alice), sent food, flowers and cards that helped me get well!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas season and best wishes for the coming year. Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season! Blessings to all our friends and family.

John, Gayle, Ansley, Alyssa and Bagel Stephenson

God Stop Moment

God Stop Moment

(I originally posted this on my FB page May 30, 2008, right after moving to Lexington from Atlanta. But after meeting a couple of new (to the area) ladies at my bible study, I thought this might encourage them!)


Years ago, I heard about the concept of a "God Stop" from Christian speaker and author Beth Moore. Basically, a God stop moment is when something happens to you or you notice something and you just stop and realize that it was totally God.

That happened to me yesterday...

Since moving to SC last weekend, I have been a little bummed/bored/lonely/confused. I know NO ONE here, everything is foreign, my calendar is empty and I am at loose ends as to what to do with my days. I am here because my husband took a new job with Starbucks (Managing Engineer for the new roasting plant they are building here). It was a great opportunity for him, and seeing as he has always been the "bread winner" in this family, I whole-heartedly supported him in taking the job, even though I would have to move away from all I know and love in Atlanta. I have lived in the metro Atlanta area since I was 8 years old - all my friends and family are there. This was gonna be scary and exciting at the same time.

Ansley was graduting from high school and going off to college, so she wouldn't be affected that much. Alyssa has been a real trooper and for the most part, been on board with the whole move (even though she had to leave some special people behind too :). I knew I was going to take the summer off from working, then try to find a job in the fall when school started back. But overall, I wasn't real sure of my place here or what God wanted for me. Where will be the best place to live? Will I like my neighbors? Will I ever make new friends like the ones I am leaving? What church will we go to? Will they have a great youth group like the one I left? Will Alyssa find new friends? Will she like her school? So many unanswered questions that left me a bit unsettled...

I decided (since I had so much time on my hands) that I needed to take some of that time and try to further my walk with God by starting a bible study or finding a good devotional book to read each morning. So far, my favorite part of being here is sitting on my screened porch and drinking my (Starbucks!) coffee in the morning.

I went online, searched the Family Christian Bookstores website, found a couple of possibilities, then went to the local store to check them out. The one I was most interested in was called "The One Year Life Verse Devotional" (365 stories of remarkable people and the Scripture that changed their lives). But alas, they didn't have it in stock. I stood at the rack that had all their devotionals on it and said a quick prayer that God would lead me to the right one for me and my situation.

I must have looked at 30 different ones, and finally settled on one, even though I wasn't really "feelin' it" if you know what I mean. At checkout, the clerk asked me if I wanted them to check for the other devotional at their store near the mall in Irmo (I was going there the next day). They checked, it was there, and they held it for me.

So yesterday, I walked in the mall store and gave the lady my name and told her they were holding a book for me. She started to ring it up, but I stopped her by saying that I just wanted to look at it first - I still wasn't sure I wanted it. She handed it to me and went to help another customer.

I moved to a quiet corner, flipped open the book and started reading the first devotional I came to. This is what the scripture for that devotional said:

Hebrews 11:8 - "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going."

WOW.

Without reading further, I snapped the book shut and said to the clerk "I'll take it!"

Like Abraham, I don't need to know HOW God is working, I simply need to obey when he calls. God is always faithful, and this verse helped me to find the strength to believe that.

Let me know about any "God Stop Moments" you may have had. These kind of stories are so inspiring to me.

(As a follow up to this story, let it be known that my family and I are SO HAPPY here in Lexington! You could not pay me to return to Atlanta - haha. We would even love to retire here - if that's what God wants!)

A 40-something living

in a 20-something world…

As a former event-planner (and now empty-nester), the offer of a part-time position with my church’s youth ministry staff sounded like a perfect fit. Little did I know that I would now be expected to go white-water rafting, star in a rap video and pray aloud with (GASP!) teenagers.

 

After I made it clear that I was definitely a “behind-the-scenes” member of the youth staff, my duties evolved into more communications and event-planning areas. In the beginning, I thought it was my job to rein in all the ludicrous and impractical ideas these 20-somethings wanted to produce for their 200 member youth group. “We don’t have time to pull that off…”, “There’s not enough money in the budget for that…”, “Pastor Jeff would NEVER let you have a flash mob in church!”

 

But actually, they thought it was their job to rid me of my antiquated and middle-aged mind-set. And they did.

As the only parent of an actual teenager on our youth staff, I thought my opinion on all things adolescent would carry a little more weight. And it did in some instances, but these "kids" taught me far more than I could ever teach them.

They taught me that youth  ministry cannot be planned out to the exact detail (something I use to take pride in doing in all areas of my life). Chairs don't have to be placed in even rows for worship - our teens will gather haphazardly in front of the band anyway, pushing the seating aside. The banquet doesn't have to include a well-balanced menu - they will only eat the chicken fingers and dessert anyway. And NOTHING needs to start on time - not only will the students probably be late, so will the staff!

They taught me that "with God, all things are possible." I am still amazed at some of the crazy ideas that we successfully pull off each year. Great Wolf Lodge, corn maze, bonfire, and Elevation Church - all in 24 hours. SIX 5th  Quarter after-parties in one season, serving 400-600 students at each event. An actual dancing and singing flash mob during the TRADITIONAL service on a Sunday morning (the congregation loved it, by the way!). No idea is too outrageous, no budget is set in stone, and no time frame holds us hostage. I've learned a lot from their faith in God to make things happen.

They taught me to be a better parent. Yes, I have now raised two Godly girls and I'm very proud of the way they turned out. But my 20-something cohorts have, in a way, parented hundreds more students than I have. Their experience with troubled teens, middle school drama and broken homes far outweighs my 18 years (x2) of experience in being a Mom. Instead of first trying to handle things my way (and when that doesn't work, God's way), I immediately go to Him in prayer, asking for guidance FIRST. Just like our youth staff does.

And lastly, they taught me how to be COOL. Nothing like working daily in a 10' x 10' office with 4 young people to have a good read on what's popular, what's lame and what has "swag" with our youth today. They've tried to convert me from a PC to an Apple, made fun of my "Mom" socks and have me wearing Keens now. They've coaxed me across a zip line and a slack line, taught me how to play Angry Birds and included me in their crazy Oscar Night videos. I'm still a little nervous around the students, but hopefully they accept me as more than just that lady that sends an occasional newsletter to their parents and takes up their money for camp.

This is not the youth group of my generation, nor of my kid's generation. This youth  ministry is looking to the future and moving towards ways THIS generation will make a difference when they go out into the world. They are not thinking "out-of-the-box," they are BUILDING the box! Even though they are only in their 20s, the decisions they make and the character they have hints at someone much older and wiser. Yet they still understand the pressures and complications of being a teenager. Their knowledge, caring and ability to counsel doesn't all come from a college education or even past experience. It comes from Him. 

Yes, they've taught me a lot, but I hope they've listened to some advice from this 40-something too: Hold fast to your Sabbath (which in our business is never on Sunday!). Spend as much time with your family as you do your youth group. Delegate - give me your little rocks so you can take care of the big ones.    Check your voice mail daily. Every family retreat does not have to be 10 families crammed into one "cabin" with 3 bathrooms. Only drink Starbucks coffee. Add 10% onto every retreat budget, because it always costs more than we planned. Oh! and don't forget to reward your administrative assistant with a spa gift certificate every so often.