Me & My Bright Idears

“Back” in the Saddle Again…

Well…not quite. It’s been 7 weeks since my back surgery and you would think that, by now, I should have accepted the fact that my (physical) life was never gonna be the same again. Part of me knew that it would be 6 or more months before I would know if it surgery “worked” and my back would feel better than it did before, but part of me thought I was Wonder Woman and would heal up immediately and be good as new in a month. Here’s where my Pollyanna outlook on life just took a beating. Let me vent and complain a bit…

I still hurt. I can’t find a comfortable position to be in for more than 10 minutes. Any kind of clothes with a waistband irritates my scar. My clothes are hanging on me and a belt is out of the question. It takes me twice as long to do anything I use to do easily. I can’t walk to the end of my street without dreading the walk back. My Mom had to shave my legs for me. John has to help me put on shoes and socks. I can’t cook a meal for my husband. Washing, drying and folding one load of clothes takes 2 days. I can’t bend over to pet my dog. I couldn’t go on the Youth Family Retreat to Great Wolf Lodge last week because I can’t ride in the car for more than 30 minutes and water parks are not my friend right now. My memory is spotty because of the overdose of anesthesia I got in the hospital and the pain killers I was taking. I have no appetite and nothing tastes good. I burst into tears for no reason at all. I can no longer lie and say I’m “fine” when someone asks how I’m doing.

Those that knew me BEFORE the surgery would probably say that I was a happy person. Always positive and finding the good in every situation. A multi-tasker and an organizational freak. A good housekeeper – a place for everything and everything in its place. A person who is put together, hair done, makeup on, outfit coordinated. WELL, YOU WOULDN’T RECOGNIZE ME NOW.

OK. Enough of that. I decided when I got up this morning that it was time to stop complaining and start being thankful. Attitude is everything, turn your frown upside down, count your blessings and all that. So…

I am THANKFUL for:

- Doctors, nurses and medical technology that make having 6 stainless steel screws in your back totally normal.

- Excellent insurance that made a $100,000 operation somewhat affordable.

- Prescription drugs and anesthesia created specifically to help my situation.

- A job that allowed me a month off while still getting paid.

- A job that was flexible enough to allow me to come back to work when I could and leave each day when I needed to.

- Being able to walk again within a couple days of the surgery.

- A mother that would drop everything and come stay with me for a week (and then came back 2 weeks later to stay again).

- A 14 pound weight loss that at first made me feel gaunt, but is beginning to feel good ;)

- My Grace Girls bible study ladies who brought us meals (Lynn T., Denise H., Amy G., Michelle H., Rhonda O.).

- My pastors (and co-workers) who were there before and after the surgery.

- My friends and family who helped out in other much needed ways (Lynne C., Claire A., Cindy D., Kelly B., Robyn P., Alice S., Ansley S., Alyssa S.)

- My devotional each morning (Jesus Calling) which gave me the strength to stay in the fight.

- A church family and other friends who prayed (and are still praying) for me.

So there. You may have noticed that I left someone very important off that THANKFUL list…I didn’t forget. I just wanted to save the best for last.

John David Stephenson, I don’t know what I would have done the past 7 weeks without you. You have waited on me hand and foot. Cooked my meals and washed the dishes, washed my clothes, changed my sheets, put on my shoes, changed my bandages, brought me medicine, held my hand while I got stitches removed, drove me to doctor’s appointments, paid my bills, bought me flowers, prayed for me and with me, held me while I cried, supported me when I could hardly walk and fed me when I couldn’t do it myself. And never complained or got impatient with me a single time. I am so THANKFUL I met you 33 years ago and married you almost 28 years ago. You have worked hard to give me everything I need, excelled at being a wonderful father to our girls, and stayed faithful and true to me just like you promised on June 15, 1985: “…in sickness and in health…” THANK YOU sweetheart – I am so blessed.