A 40-something living

in a 20-something world…

As a former event-planner (and now empty-nester), the offer of a part-time position with my church’s youth ministry staff sounded like a perfect fit. Little did I know that I would now be expected to go white-water rafting, star in a rap video and pray aloud with (GASP!) teenagers.

 

After I made it clear that I was definitely a “behind-the-scenes” member of the youth staff, my duties evolved into more communications and event-planning areas. In the beginning, I thought it was my job to rein in all the ludicrous and impractical ideas these 20-somethings wanted to produce for their 200 member youth group. “We don’t have time to pull that off…”, “There’s not enough money in the budget for that…”, “Pastor Jeff would NEVER let you have a flash mob in church!”

 

But actually, they thought it was their job to rid me of my antiquated and middle-aged mind-set. And they did.

As the only parent of an actual teenager on our youth staff, I thought my opinion on all things adolescent would carry a little more weight. And it did in some instances, but these "kids" taught me far more than I could ever teach them.

They taught me that youth  ministry cannot be planned out to the exact detail (something I use to take pride in doing in all areas of my life). Chairs don't have to be placed in even rows for worship - our teens will gather haphazardly in front of the band anyway, pushing the seating aside. The banquet doesn't have to include a well-balanced menu - they will only eat the chicken fingers and dessert anyway. And NOTHING needs to start on time - not only will the students probably be late, so will the staff!

They taught me that "with God, all things are possible." I am still amazed at some of the crazy ideas that we successfully pull off each year. Great Wolf Lodge, corn maze, bonfire, and Elevation Church - all in 24 hours. SIX 5th  Quarter after-parties in one season, serving 400-600 students at each event. An actual dancing and singing flash mob during the TRADITIONAL service on a Sunday morning (the congregation loved it, by the way!). No idea is too outrageous, no budget is set in stone, and no time frame holds us hostage. I've learned a lot from their faith in God to make things happen.

They taught me to be a better parent. Yes, I have now raised two Godly girls and I'm very proud of the way they turned out. But my 20-something cohorts have, in a way, parented hundreds more students than I have. Their experience with troubled teens, middle school drama and broken homes far outweighs my 18 years (x2) of experience in being a Mom. Instead of first trying to handle things my way (and when that doesn't work, God's way), I immediately go to Him in prayer, asking for guidance FIRST. Just like our youth staff does.

And lastly, they taught me how to be COOL. Nothing like working daily in a 10' x 10' office with 4 young people to have a good read on what's popular, what's lame and what has "swag" with our youth today. They've tried to convert me from a PC to an Apple, made fun of my "Mom" socks and have me wearing Keens now. They've coaxed me across a zip line and a slack line, taught me how to play Angry Birds and included me in their crazy Oscar Night videos. I'm still a little nervous around the students, but hopefully they accept me as more than just that lady that sends an occasional newsletter to their parents and takes up their money for camp.

This is not the youth group of my generation, nor of my kid's generation. This youth  ministry is looking to the future and moving towards ways THIS generation will make a difference when they go out into the world. They are not thinking "out-of-the-box," they are BUILDING the box! Even though they are only in their 20s, the decisions they make and the character they have hints at someone much older and wiser. Yet they still understand the pressures and complications of being a teenager. Their knowledge, caring and ability to counsel doesn't all come from a college education or even past experience. It comes from Him. 

Yes, they've taught me a lot, but I hope they've listened to some advice from this 40-something too: Hold fast to your Sabbath (which in our business is never on Sunday!). Spend as much time with your family as you do your youth group. Delegate - give me your little rocks so you can take care of the big ones.    Check your voice mail daily. Every family retreat does not have to be 10 families crammed into one "cabin" with 3 bathrooms. Only drink Starbucks coffee. Add 10% onto every retreat budget, because it always costs more than we planned. Oh! and don't forget to reward your administrative assistant with a spa gift certificate every so often.

Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug…

mor·tal·i·ty: the number of deaths in a given time or place

Been thinking a lot about this subject lately. Maybe it’s because my loving grandmother passed away recently. Maybe it’s because the 10^th anniversary of my wonderful father-in-law’s death is approaching. Maybe it’s all the talk about “doomsday preppers” and “doomsday bunkers” going on in the media. I want to honor the memories of my Memama and Stan the Man, but first, let me take a minute and vent about all these theories regarding the ultimate fate of our earth.

Doomsday Preppers?? For real?? I don’t know about you, but if the end of the world is approaching, and it’s really gonna be bad enough to warrant a stockpile of food, water and concrete bunkers to protect you from nuclear fallout and zombies, then I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SURVIVE IT! Take me now, Jesus! Who wants to hang around and worry about all that stuff when everything I will need is with Him? Check out this link if you want to be further amazed at the lengths people will go to when they don’t trust in the gift of eternal life the Lord offers: Doomsday Missile Silo Condos for Sale .

Ok…moving on…

This is me a couple of years ago with my grandmother, LaVerne Baird Murrah. I was visiting her at the rest home where she lived for many years. This was probably the last time I was with her when she still remembered who I was, although she still occasionally introduced me as her daughter rather than her granddaughter. But that’s ok. She went to be with our Lord on August 20^th of this year, but in my heart, she died a while back when the Alzheimer’s took her mind. We celebrated her memory a few weeks ago in a memorial service, and honestly, it was more of a celebration of her life than a mourning of her death. 

Memama’s four daughters are in the center of this pic (my Mom on the right end next to Ansley), and around them are their spouses, children and grandchildren. If you are interested in my grandmother’s legacy, you can check out her obituary here: LaVerne Baird Murrah. But I think her greatest accomplishment is this: As far as I know, everyone in the picture to the right has accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior and will one day see their Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother again in heaven. If only I can carry on that tradition, my life will be complete.

October 30^th will be the 10th anniversary of Stanley Stephenson’s passing. I still miss him as much today as I did 10 years ago. I don’t think I am good enough a writer to express what a wonderful person Stan was, so let me just make a list (I’m real good at that!)…

-Generous – he gave of his time, money and resources to anyone who needed it.

-A true host with the most – he loved to have his family all around him.

-Soooooo funny! He had a wonderful sense of humor which he passed on to both John and Kelly.

-A dedicated husband (who loved to tease his wife, but there was no doubt he loved her dearly).

-He loved the water, living on the lake and at the beach.

-A man of integrity and honor, he had many friends who knew they could depend on him.

-A planner like me! We always had a vacation or a dinner out to look forward to.

-He set an excellent example for his children – teaching them discipline, hard work and integrity.

-A man of God, as committed to his faith as he was to his church.

-And his most important role: Big Daddy to his six grandchildren! Oh how they LOVED him.

Ansley and Alyssa were lucky enough to spend a week in New York City with Stan and Alice, just a few months before he died. I know they will treasure those memories forever. He loved his family so much and especially his grandchildren. Makes me sad that Kelly’s kids won’t have as many memories of Big Daddy, seeing as they were so much younger when he left this earth. But we know the best stories to tell and we keep his memory alive whenever we are all together. My mother-in-law continues spreading Stan’s generous spirit by taking us on trips and helping with college expenses for her grandchildren.

This is one of my favorite pictures from the days following Stanley’s death. This is Stanley’s best friend Jerry telling a story about Stan that pretty much sums up his joy for life: In 1998, they went to Miami to see the Falcons play in the Super Bowl for the first time EVER. Both Jerry and Stan were wearing matching Falcon polo shirts and someone at their hotel asked if they were Falcon coaches. Well…before they could get out the door to head to the game, Stan had them posing for pictures and signing autographs! The looks on Ansley and Alyssa’s faces are priceless to me. They obviously worshiped the ground Big Daddy walked on.

I hope, one day, I leave a legacy like these two people did. I hope my grandchildren think I’m a rock star. I hope I leave a huge family of believers. I hope they will tell inspiring stories about me. I hope I become as beautiful as my grandmother and as fun-loving as my father-in-law. I hope I live as long as LaVerne did with as much life as Stanley had. I can only hope.

I AM

I AM

I am a multi-tasker - I am a bargain shopper - I wear glasses - I hate my handwriting - I am a good speller - I love the BEACH - I color my hair - I love junk food - I hate going to the dentist - Cooking and recipes bore me - Tennis is the only sport I’ve ever been able to play - Traveling is my passion - My favorite song is "You've got a Friend" by Carol King - I am very organized - My favorite restaurant is Macaroni Grill - I've never gotten a speeding ticket - My favorite radio station plays contemporary Christian music - I love to take pictures - I have two beautiful daughters - I drive a Toyota RAV4 - I prefer wine over beer - My favorite ice cream is chocolate chip mint - I love going to the movies - I have fake fingernails - I am a Methodist - I once had a conversation with President Jimmy Carter - I have the best friends in the world! - I dream of going on an African safari - I like the color of my eyes - I have a degree in journalism/public relations - My most exciting moment: riding in a stock car at 150 mph - I've never broken a bone - I love dark chocolate best - Scrapbooking gives me joy - My husband and I were high school sweethearts - I have bad knees - I am very creative - I prefer to drive with the windows down - I hate swallowing pills - My favorite color is purple - I am a reality TV junkie - I want to get my teeth whitened - I am a good driver - I love musical movies - My favorite rock groups are Aerosmith and Bon Jovi - I am a Republican - I love to read - I am a college football fan - I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I am.

(Originally posted on FB July 2008...the only thing I had to change was the kind of car I drive!)