2012: A Year in Review

Well, for the first time in 27 years, I won’t be sending out a Christmas card with my letter this season. My family has finally begun to reach far and wide, ending up in different places with different agendas now. But through the magic of social media, I can still give you a quick summary and a few pictures of our year. This pic was taken Christmas Day while I was recovering from back surgery, so that's why I look a little peak-ed! LOL

Ansley has graduated from the University of Georgia with a double major in English and English Education, while securing a great job teaching 10^th and 11^th graders in Gwinnett County, GA at Mill Creek High School. 

 

Of course she secured an apartment in downtown Atlanta FIRST, so now she is enduring a nice long commute back and forth to work each day. At least it’s against traffic! She loves her new life, being out on her own, but like most of us adults, doesn’t care for all the bills and responsibilities that come along with that. All part of growing up I guess.


Ansley has also been dating Sam Janjua for the past few months and they are enjoying their time together in Atlanta and Athens. 

Ansley has adopted a sweet little kitten to keep her company. “Romeo” helped to heal her broken heart when our family cat, Skittles, died of old age back in June.

Alyssa is halfway through with her final year of getting her baking and pastry degree from Johnson & Wales University in Charlotte, NC.  After her full time internship at Amelie’s French Bakery in Charlotte, plus one more term of academic classes, she plans to transfer to the University of South Carolina and then work on a bachelors in Restaurant Management so that one day she can open her own bakery. She is also looking forward to being out on her own, already looking for an apartment for her time at USC. YES – USC is only about 20 minutes from here, but NO – she doesn’t want to commute from home. For some reason we are fine with this. :)

Alyssa also has a wonderful young man in her life, Hayden Antal, who also attends USC majoring in graphic communications. I have to say it's nice having another photographer around so that I don't have to be responsible for taking all the pictures of every event!

Alyssa did her first full-fledged wedding cake for my cousin Caitlin this summer  which led to several other wedding orders for the season.

 

She was also in a cake decoration competition hosted by the NC branch of ICF (the International Culinary Federation) and won the bronze medal for her 3-tiered wedding cake. 

John is still with Starbucks, now building a new plant located in Augusta, GA that will produce the Starbucks VIA coffee. Don’t know whether he will end up there when the plant is complete or not, but for now, it’s only an hour and 15 minute commute. He hasn’t done as much major traveling this year (just one trip to Malaysia) as he did last year, so we are enjoying our empty nest and working on some projects around the house. John and I also joined a couples small group at church for a 6 week bible study which we thoroughly enjoyed and hope to do another soon. Our Auburn Tigers had a REALLY bad year, but we are looking forward to seeing what our new coach, Gus Malzahn, will be able to accomplish next year.

As for myself, I am still loving my job at the church, serving with our youth staff and planning events for over 200 middle and high school students. What a blessing to work with these people and to make a difference in the lives of Lexington students.

My dear Memama passed away in August after almost 94 years on this earth. It was wonderful to re-united with most of my Mother’s family for a memorial service in my grandmother’s honor. 

We spent Thanksgiving with John's family in Fayetteville, GA where we took this family photo in his sister's front yard. Everyone is wearing their favorite SEC team colors, celebrating college football plus all we have to be thankful for. John's Mom used this pic for her Christmas card. 

I took a few small trips throughout the year: three times to the beach, on a business trip with John to Jacksonville, FL, to a church conference in Dallas, and a visit to my Dad’s in Orlando where he and his wife have now retired near my brother, Gary, and his family. But my favorite trip of the year was to NYC with my friend Zannett! Girlfriends trip to the big city – ain’t nothing like it! 

I guess the biggest milestone for me this year was having some major back surgery in December. The osteoarthritis in my lower back had gotten worse over the past two years, leading to degenerative disc disease (the last two discs in my spine had just about disappeared, so there was no “padding” left). After a 5 hour surgery (spinal fusion) and 5 days in the hospital, I now have 6 stainless steel screws in my back. Thank the good Lord for my Mom and my husband who both waited on me for the past 3 weeks of recovery. I hope to return to work after the new year…so far, so good. I am also very appreciative of my church family, my ladies bible study group and all my family and friends who prayed, nursed me (Claire, Robyn, Kelly, Alice), sent food, flowers and cards that helped me get well!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas season and best wishes for the coming year. Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season! Blessings to all our friends and family.

John, Gayle, Ansley, Alyssa and Bagel Stephenson

God Stop Moment

God Stop Moment

(I originally posted this on my FB page May 30, 2008, right after moving to Lexington from Atlanta. But after meeting a couple of new (to the area) ladies at my bible study, I thought this might encourage them!)


Years ago, I heard about the concept of a "God Stop" from Christian speaker and author Beth Moore. Basically, a God stop moment is when something happens to you or you notice something and you just stop and realize that it was totally God.

That happened to me yesterday...

Since moving to SC last weekend, I have been a little bummed/bored/lonely/confused. I know NO ONE here, everything is foreign, my calendar is empty and I am at loose ends as to what to do with my days. I am here because my husband took a new job with Starbucks (Managing Engineer for the new roasting plant they are building here). It was a great opportunity for him, and seeing as he has always been the "bread winner" in this family, I whole-heartedly supported him in taking the job, even though I would have to move away from all I know and love in Atlanta. I have lived in the metro Atlanta area since I was 8 years old - all my friends and family are there. This was gonna be scary and exciting at the same time.

Ansley was graduting from high school and going off to college, so she wouldn't be affected that much. Alyssa has been a real trooper and for the most part, been on board with the whole move (even though she had to leave some special people behind too :). I knew I was going to take the summer off from working, then try to find a job in the fall when school started back. But overall, I wasn't real sure of my place here or what God wanted for me. Where will be the best place to live? Will I like my neighbors? Will I ever make new friends like the ones I am leaving? What church will we go to? Will they have a great youth group like the one I left? Will Alyssa find new friends? Will she like her school? So many unanswered questions that left me a bit unsettled...

I decided (since I had so much time on my hands) that I needed to take some of that time and try to further my walk with God by starting a bible study or finding a good devotional book to read each morning. So far, my favorite part of being here is sitting on my screened porch and drinking my (Starbucks!) coffee in the morning.

I went online, searched the Family Christian Bookstores website, found a couple of possibilities, then went to the local store to check them out. The one I was most interested in was called "The One Year Life Verse Devotional" (365 stories of remarkable people and the Scripture that changed their lives). But alas, they didn't have it in stock. I stood at the rack that had all their devotionals on it and said a quick prayer that God would lead me to the right one for me and my situation.

I must have looked at 30 different ones, and finally settled on one, even though I wasn't really "feelin' it" if you know what I mean. At checkout, the clerk asked me if I wanted them to check for the other devotional at their store near the mall in Irmo (I was going there the next day). They checked, it was there, and they held it for me.

So yesterday, I walked in the mall store and gave the lady my name and told her they were holding a book for me. She started to ring it up, but I stopped her by saying that I just wanted to look at it first - I still wasn't sure I wanted it. She handed it to me and went to help another customer.

I moved to a quiet corner, flipped open the book and started reading the first devotional I came to. This is what the scripture for that devotional said:

Hebrews 11:8 - "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going."

WOW.

Without reading further, I snapped the book shut and said to the clerk "I'll take it!"

Like Abraham, I don't need to know HOW God is working, I simply need to obey when he calls. God is always faithful, and this verse helped me to find the strength to believe that.

Let me know about any "God Stop Moments" you may have had. These kind of stories are so inspiring to me.

(As a follow up to this story, let it be known that my family and I are SO HAPPY here in Lexington! You could not pay me to return to Atlanta - haha. We would even love to retire here - if that's what God wants!)

A 40-something living

in a 20-something world…

As a former event-planner (and now empty-nester), the offer of a part-time position with my church’s youth ministry staff sounded like a perfect fit. Little did I know that I would now be expected to go white-water rafting, star in a rap video and pray aloud with (GASP!) teenagers.

 

After I made it clear that I was definitely a “behind-the-scenes” member of the youth staff, my duties evolved into more communications and event-planning areas. In the beginning, I thought it was my job to rein in all the ludicrous and impractical ideas these 20-somethings wanted to produce for their 200 member youth group. “We don’t have time to pull that off…”, “There’s not enough money in the budget for that…”, “Pastor Jeff would NEVER let you have a flash mob in church!”

 

But actually, they thought it was their job to rid me of my antiquated and middle-aged mind-set. And they did.

As the only parent of an actual teenager on our youth staff, I thought my opinion on all things adolescent would carry a little more weight. And it did in some instances, but these "kids" taught me far more than I could ever teach them.

They taught me that youth  ministry cannot be planned out to the exact detail (something I use to take pride in doing in all areas of my life). Chairs don't have to be placed in even rows for worship - our teens will gather haphazardly in front of the band anyway, pushing the seating aside. The banquet doesn't have to include a well-balanced menu - they will only eat the chicken fingers and dessert anyway. And NOTHING needs to start on time - not only will the students probably be late, so will the staff!

They taught me that "with God, all things are possible." I am still amazed at some of the crazy ideas that we successfully pull off each year. Great Wolf Lodge, corn maze, bonfire, and Elevation Church - all in 24 hours. SIX 5th  Quarter after-parties in one season, serving 400-600 students at each event. An actual dancing and singing flash mob during the TRADITIONAL service on a Sunday morning (the congregation loved it, by the way!). No idea is too outrageous, no budget is set in stone, and no time frame holds us hostage. I've learned a lot from their faith in God to make things happen.

They taught me to be a better parent. Yes, I have now raised two Godly girls and I'm very proud of the way they turned out. But my 20-something cohorts have, in a way, parented hundreds more students than I have. Their experience with troubled teens, middle school drama and broken homes far outweighs my 18 years (x2) of experience in being a Mom. Instead of first trying to handle things my way (and when that doesn't work, God's way), I immediately go to Him in prayer, asking for guidance FIRST. Just like our youth staff does.

And lastly, they taught me how to be COOL. Nothing like working daily in a 10' x 10' office with 4 young people to have a good read on what's popular, what's lame and what has "swag" with our youth today. They've tried to convert me from a PC to an Apple, made fun of my "Mom" socks and have me wearing Keens now. They've coaxed me across a zip line and a slack line, taught me how to play Angry Birds and included me in their crazy Oscar Night videos. I'm still a little nervous around the students, but hopefully they accept me as more than just that lady that sends an occasional newsletter to their parents and takes up their money for camp.

This is not the youth group of my generation, nor of my kid's generation. This youth  ministry is looking to the future and moving towards ways THIS generation will make a difference when they go out into the world. They are not thinking "out-of-the-box," they are BUILDING the box! Even though they are only in their 20s, the decisions they make and the character they have hints at someone much older and wiser. Yet they still understand the pressures and complications of being a teenager. Their knowledge, caring and ability to counsel doesn't all come from a college education or even past experience. It comes from Him. 

Yes, they've taught me a lot, but I hope they've listened to some advice from this 40-something too: Hold fast to your Sabbath (which in our business is never on Sunday!). Spend as much time with your family as you do your youth group. Delegate - give me your little rocks so you can take care of the big ones.    Check your voice mail daily. Every family retreat does not have to be 10 families crammed into one "cabin" with 3 bathrooms. Only drink Starbucks coffee. Add 10% onto every retreat budget, because it always costs more than we planned. Oh! and don't forget to reward your administrative assistant with a spa gift certificate every so often.

Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug…

mor·tal·i·ty: the number of deaths in a given time or place

Been thinking a lot about this subject lately. Maybe it’s because my loving grandmother passed away recently. Maybe it’s because the 10^th anniversary of my wonderful father-in-law’s death is approaching. Maybe it’s all the talk about “doomsday preppers” and “doomsday bunkers” going on in the media. I want to honor the memories of my Memama and Stan the Man, but first, let me take a minute and vent about all these theories regarding the ultimate fate of our earth.

Doomsday Preppers?? For real?? I don’t know about you, but if the end of the world is approaching, and it’s really gonna be bad enough to warrant a stockpile of food, water and concrete bunkers to protect you from nuclear fallout and zombies, then I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SURVIVE IT! Take me now, Jesus! Who wants to hang around and worry about all that stuff when everything I will need is with Him? Check out this link if you want to be further amazed at the lengths people will go to when they don’t trust in the gift of eternal life the Lord offers: Doomsday Missile Silo Condos for Sale .

Ok…moving on…

This is me a couple of years ago with my grandmother, LaVerne Baird Murrah. I was visiting her at the rest home where she lived for many years. This was probably the last time I was with her when she still remembered who I was, although she still occasionally introduced me as her daughter rather than her granddaughter. But that’s ok. She went to be with our Lord on August 20^th of this year, but in my heart, she died a while back when the Alzheimer’s took her mind. We celebrated her memory a few weeks ago in a memorial service, and honestly, it was more of a celebration of her life than a mourning of her death. 

Memama’s four daughters are in the center of this pic (my Mom on the right end next to Ansley), and around them are their spouses, children and grandchildren. If you are interested in my grandmother’s legacy, you can check out her obituary here: LaVerne Baird Murrah. But I think her greatest accomplishment is this: As far as I know, everyone in the picture to the right has accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior and will one day see their Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother again in heaven. If only I can carry on that tradition, my life will be complete.

October 30^th will be the 10th anniversary of Stanley Stephenson’s passing. I still miss him as much today as I did 10 years ago. I don’t think I am good enough a writer to express what a wonderful person Stan was, so let me just make a list (I’m real good at that!)…

-Generous – he gave of his time, money and resources to anyone who needed it.

-A true host with the most – he loved to have his family all around him.

-Soooooo funny! He had a wonderful sense of humor which he passed on to both John and Kelly.

-A dedicated husband (who loved to tease his wife, but there was no doubt he loved her dearly).

-He loved the water, living on the lake and at the beach.

-A man of integrity and honor, he had many friends who knew they could depend on him.

-A planner like me! We always had a vacation or a dinner out to look forward to.

-He set an excellent example for his children – teaching them discipline, hard work and integrity.

-A man of God, as committed to his faith as he was to his church.

-And his most important role: Big Daddy to his six grandchildren! Oh how they LOVED him.

Ansley and Alyssa were lucky enough to spend a week in New York City with Stan and Alice, just a few months before he died. I know they will treasure those memories forever. He loved his family so much and especially his grandchildren. Makes me sad that Kelly’s kids won’t have as many memories of Big Daddy, seeing as they were so much younger when he left this earth. But we know the best stories to tell and we keep his memory alive whenever we are all together. My mother-in-law continues spreading Stan’s generous spirit by taking us on trips and helping with college expenses for her grandchildren.

This is one of my favorite pictures from the days following Stanley’s death. This is Stanley’s best friend Jerry telling a story about Stan that pretty much sums up his joy for life: In 1998, they went to Miami to see the Falcons play in the Super Bowl for the first time EVER. Both Jerry and Stan were wearing matching Falcon polo shirts and someone at their hotel asked if they were Falcon coaches. Well…before they could get out the door to head to the game, Stan had them posing for pictures and signing autographs! The looks on Ansley and Alyssa’s faces are priceless to me. They obviously worshiped the ground Big Daddy walked on.

I hope, one day, I leave a legacy like these two people did. I hope my grandchildren think I’m a rock star. I hope I leave a huge family of believers. I hope they will tell inspiring stories about me. I hope I become as beautiful as my grandmother and as fun-loving as my father-in-law. I hope I live as long as LaVerne did with as much life as Stanley had. I can only hope.

I AM

I AM

I am a multi-tasker - I am a bargain shopper - I wear glasses - I hate my handwriting - I am a good speller - I love the BEACH - I color my hair - I love junk food - I hate going to the dentist - Cooking and recipes bore me - Tennis is the only sport I’ve ever been able to play - Traveling is my passion - My favorite song is "You've got a Friend" by Carol King - I am very organized - My favorite restaurant is Macaroni Grill - I've never gotten a speeding ticket - My favorite radio station plays contemporary Christian music - I love to take pictures - I have two beautiful daughters - I drive a Toyota RAV4 - I prefer wine over beer - My favorite ice cream is chocolate chip mint - I love going to the movies - I have fake fingernails - I am a Methodist - I once had a conversation with President Jimmy Carter - I have the best friends in the world! - I dream of going on an African safari - I like the color of my eyes - I have a degree in journalism/public relations - My most exciting moment: riding in a stock car at 150 mph - I've never broken a bone - I love dark chocolate best - Scrapbooking gives me joy - My husband and I were high school sweethearts - I have bad knees - I am very creative - I prefer to drive with the windows down - I hate swallowing pills - My favorite color is purple - I am a reality TV junkie - I want to get my teeth whitened - I am a good driver - I love musical movies - My favorite rock groups are Aerosmith and Bon Jovi - I am a Republican - I love to read - I am a college football fan - I AM A CHILD OF GOD. I am.

(Originally posted on FB July 2008...the only thing I had to change was the kind of car I drive!)

Me & My Bright Idears

Wow. Am I really doing this? Jumping on the “Blogging” bandwagon? I know my girls will be happy – no more random long texts spouting off my opinion on their last tweet or FB status. Now I can just embarrass them in public instead of privately…

After all, both daughters have THEIR own blogs and nothing excites me more (that might be an over-statement) than when I see they have written another post for their blogs. I feel like it give me a backstage pass to their inner thoughts – things they won’t always say out loud, but come from the bottom of their hearts. That’s what I hope to do here. I know it’s not a competition – they are much better writers than I ever was – but if I can only preach/complain/ encourage/advise/entertain half as well as they do, I’ll be content. REALLY. They are fantastic writers. I will check and see if they will allow me to share their blog addresses with you in the near future.

(Let me just stop here and insert a reader’s warning: I am VERY proud of my (adult) children and will, from time to time, sicken you with my praises, exultations and comments about how wonderful they are. Let it be known that I do not think my children are better, more beautiful or smarter than yours…they are just the best, most beautiful and smartest ones to ME. Please don’t think I am boasting gloating bragging …OK, I’m boasting. I’ll admit it. A mother’s right and all that. I’ll apologize now, but I’m gonna do it anyway.)

Of course, being the planner that I am, I did my research to find out the best way to start a blog. All the Do’s and Don’ts of reaching your best audience (see…I can boast about you too). All the different layout designs, color schemes, type styles, etc. One thing they (whoever ‘they’ are) stress is the importance of finding your “niche” market. What subject will you be writing about the most? What audience will gravitate towards the thing you will be blogging about? As I said over there in my “ABOUT ME” column, I have an opinion and I love to give it. And that means opinions about EVERYTHING (though I tend to stay away from politics as my opinion on that would get totally lost in all the others floating around on FB, Twitter and the general news media).

So if you decide to stick around, you will hear me address such topics as: getting organized (at home and work), child-rearing, faith and prayer, scrapbooking, travel, best friends, family, pet peeves, lessons learned, books I love, spiritual gifts, my job, goal-setting, eulogies of those who have gone on before me, marriage, decorating, music, etc. Also, I will probably regurgitate some ‘Notes’ I wrote on FB back in the day. So that means no niche market for me. Just a hodge-podge of word vomit on all the things just mentioned plus others as they come to me.

I once tried to start a “travel” blog while on a trip to the Pacific Northwest. It failed miserably, and since I tend to live in the moment, I had no moments to blog while bald eagles, waterfalls, kite festivals and snow-capped mountains awaited. I’ll really try to do better this time…hopefully 2-3 times per month. Uh-oh…now it’s in print. Guess you’ll hold me accountable now. That’s fine.

Oh...and the name of my blog? That's not a typo on 'Idears'...that's just the way I've always pronounced the word 'idea'. And since my friend Karen MacDonald has always teased me about it, I let her have the honor of naming my blog. She's a pretty good blogger herself - check her out at http://livingwell-livingsimply.blogspot.com/ .

Blessings!